Joke of the day

[Rizzle]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his behind, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.
"Now what?", responds the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his behind, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

[Steve]

rotflmao ;D

[Chew]

What kind of bee produces milk?











boobees

[daddyja]

thats focking awesome!!!!!

[I Am Batman]

So.. Does this mean we get a joke every day? Also you could prolly say butt.. ALSO you said the last part wrong. But Im still laughing.. Can you here it from you room? ;D

[Rizzle]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me. I
have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get I
started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. He gets
there and
she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for
a
moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of
all
sweetheart, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble
these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." "Second, I'd advise you
to
just relax.... have a glass of wine, then put all these Frosted Flakes
back
in the box.

[DirtDaddy]

If a chick with big ta ta's works at hooters, Where does a chick with 1 leg work?

[daddyja]

Long John Silvers

[DirtDaddy]

IHOP